i’ve gotten some requests asking me to outline exactly how i stripped my way cross country. today i received a very compelling email asking for some tips and tricks. though all my techniques are buried in the depths of the last several years of this blog i will outline them as simply as i can now. this post will not detail HOW TO BE A STRIPPER, there is plenty of material and opinions floating around the ether webs about how to shave your pussy, point your toes and move slowly as well as conversation techniques to sell lapdances. this post is about the finer details of travel stripping.
1. pick your town – probably it’ll be the one you end up in.
2. call all the local strip clubs and try to find out if they will accept a travel girl, when you can audition and any local rules. some states require that you register with local government agencies. i never worked at those clubs. understand if you need to have a specific type of underwear (some clubs don’t allow g strings, etc).
2a. literally i called and this is what i said, “hi i’m a traveling dancer and i’m coming through town for several days and hoping to audition for your club. do you accept traveling girls?” besides no-answer calls, i never got turned down though i’m sure had i tried in certain stripper-saturated cities i might have been turned down more. if possible call a week ahead of time. due to the way i travel this was rarely possible and i often called the night before and/or the day of and was still able to work.
2a. if you can’t get a hold of any managers through phonecalls, go to the club and ask during their open hours. i only did this once. i was able to reach the club by phone every other time.
2b. you can track down the numbers for local strip clubs using yelp or stripclublist.com. i often will use a large mile radius variable to see where in the state i can find clubs.
note: i usually chose to dance in smaller towns because there was usually a more relaxed and free flow hiring process. be prepared to show your driver’s license and/or tits and/or on-stage dancing techniques. if a manager asks for you to show him your lapdancing skills, feel free to say no and/or leave.
3. be quiet, be respectful, be prepared. every stripper knows that walking into a dressing room situation cold, is not the most comfortable experience. introduce yourself. smile. come prepared with all sorts of stripper things so that when a girl asks if anyone has scissors to cut off her tag you can help out. don’t ask for their help. the first night can be a little rough as you feel out the personalities in the room – when in doubt mind your own business, don’t get involved in local drama, don’t get drunk, defer to local girls even if they’re being slightly outrageous. you’re on their turf.
3a. being prepared includes bringing an ipod and/or cd’s with the music you like, if at all possible. some of the smaller clubs i worked at didn’t provide music for afternoon shifts.
4. remind the manager/house mom/dj etc that you have never worked in this state and all states do things differently. ask for an explanation of rates, dance areas, local rules, club customs, tip-out expectations, etc. asking smart questions will gain you respect.
5. i always made enough to pay my stage fee but had i not, i would have told the manager that i didn’t have cash on me and bailed. fuck a club where you can’t make stage fee and try another.
6. i showered in truck stops and campgrounds (which i sometimes paid for and sometimes snuck into). i often slept in my truck though several times i bought a hotel room when i was really feeling road worn. always always, watch your back when you leave the club, drive around, make sure no one is following you. you have no friends to call in whatever anonymous city you’re in if things go whack.
7. every night i worked i texted my mom what club i was working at and sent her a text before i went to bed saying “safe”. if you have a friend or family member you trust, it’s good to have someone who knows where you’re at.
8. i wrote about the variety of club rules a traveling stripper runs into on the road here and i maintain that it’s important to know the on-paper rules, the actual rules of the club, and your own rules. know the difference between the three and never ever break the third set, be prepared to be kicked out by the manager or screamed at by the girls if you break the second set, and break the first set as much as you like. you determine the difference between actual rules and on-paper rules by watching the other girls.
there you have it. further questions can be asked in the comments section. i will answer them all and update this post if any seem particularly important to include. other travel strippers, please chime in.